-Deciding all I want out of life is grapefruit juice, a newspaper and some breakfast -in that order.
-Get to 7-11... no newspapers. Strike one.
-Have to walk the extra three blocks to another store to get juice and the paper.
-Open said 'grapefruit juice' (which, by the way is clearly labeled as being 100% Juice... I assumed they meant GRAPEFRUIT juice) anyone who has ever even seen the inside of a grapefruit, never mind tasted one, would've never been fooled by this garbage... pear and apple juice with a splash of actual grapefruit for coloring... fuck you Dole... it's so bad that I throw it out. Strike two.
-Get to breakfast place... an hour before they open. Strike three.... in less than 20mins. Awesome start.
-Finally decide to go somewhere else... eat, read the paper, do the crossword and sudoku, look through the classifieds... still restless.
-I figure I'll stay out for a bit and wander around... I spot a coffee place downtown called The Corporate Cafe... it's located conveniently across from a Starbucks and a block from an Au Bon Pain... is this someone's idea of a joke?
-Small plus... found a new RI Mr. Potato Head statue!! I'm psyched.
-Still restless... take a bus to go shopping. Listen to people at the bus stop complain because someone with a wheelchair is getting on and it's raining.
Hey... know what's worse than waiting an extra two seconds in the rain to get on the bus? NOT BEING ABLE TO USE YOUR FUCKING LEGS.
-Find temporary solace in shoe shopping... bought the hottest shoes anyone has ever seen... I tried to find a picture of them but I couldn't.
Now for the crowning moment of my morning:
I get on the bus to come home. There is a man in the seat closest to the door with his bags on the side of him... I won't describe him because I don't want you to be biased... all I will tell you is that he was under 30 and could've easily walked to the end of the bus and back without breaking a sweat.. you'll understand the relevance of this in a minute.
Flash forward to about ten minutes later when we pull up to a stop... an elderly woman with a cane gets on... there are barely any seats towards the front and she HAS A CANE... so she goes to the seat next to the guy and says 'Can you move your things so I can sit there?' He looks behind her and goes... I shit you not...'There's a seat behind you'
So the woman shuffles past him to the other seat but not before saying 'I thought those seats were reserved for the elderly and handicapped' ...Good for you I thought... let him know he's an asshole.
Does it stop there? Oh no... the dude looks at her and goes 'There are plenty of seats on the fucking bus, sit in one of those and let me worry about where I'm sitting... mind your fucking business... I'm not getting stuck behind your slow ass while I'm trying to get off this bus, I'm fucking late enough already.'
Let me remind everyone that I'm not known for my even temper or for being timid.
So this happened:
Angela: "Wow dude, get the sand out of your vagina and learn some common decency'
Dude: 'Excuse me... I don't have a vagina bitch, I'm all man... and what the fuck do you know about common decency?
A: 'I know that if I were you and she had gotten on I would've taken a seat in the back without having to be asked'
...now's the part where I inform you that in my anger I had just unintentionally told a black man to sit in the back of the bus...
Dude: 'Back of the bus? What am I? Motherfucking Rosa Parks? Decency... shit... You have no respect for dead people.'
(Oh yeah... that's what he said. I have no respect for dead people.)
A: 'If Rosa Parks was alive and walked on this bus, I'll tell you right now that if I was sitting where you are I would've picked up my bags and given her my seat right up front.. because I respect my elders and I'm not an ignorant asshole.'
Um... yeah... this was followed by a few people laughing and the man (who I didn't mention before was obviously on some kind of uppers) yelling 'I'll stab every mother fucker on this bus if you don't shut the fuck up.'
At which point the bus driver... finally taking notice... pulled over and kicked the guy off... in the middle of the highway... in the rain...
and Angela felt justified.